Christian Dating Advice For Men

Author: Joseph Matthews
Website: www.artofapproaching.com

Blending the balance of our desires and beliefs is an ever-going process in our lives.

Speaking to you as someone who’s struggled, at times, with his faith and his urges as a man, I believe I have a unique perspective on how the two fit together.

It is natural to want to stay true to what we believe in. And for most Christian men, it is important that love occur within the boundaries of church.

One of those boundaries is that sex should only happen once married.

Whether we follow it or not, there are validities of free will choices at work here and it is not for us to judge this belief.

Ancient cultures used to believe that when partaking in sex, a part of the other person’s soul would mingle with yours, and that you’d carry that person around with you for the rest of your life.

In some respects, this is true. So the doctrine to keep your virginity for your wife is a wise one.

But this presents a unique challenge for those men out there who wish to stay true to their faith.

To enable yourself to continue attracting a woman, while fostering a relationship as you wait for marriage is achievable, however, you must take note of a few perspectives.

After all – sex is important! Getting married to someone who’s sexually incompatible with you can be a very difficult union to be in.

Here is some advice I’ve come up with specifically for men who face this issue of romance vs. faith.

1. Refine your beliefs

Faith guides us throughout our lifetime, is essential that you are clear in where you place your faith and beliefs.

We all have free will, the ability to think and reason, this is God’s gift to us. We look at all our options while deciding which path we each take. Some of us take it all in and keep what teaching reverberates within our higher self, while others embrace all of their churches teachings.

You must refine and clarify your beliefs and then stick to them, no matter your choices.

2. Trust in the plan God has for you.

You must trust in the fact that there is a woman out there you are meant to be with, and God has a plan to unite you with her.

Since you have free will, you have to take action while striving to take advantage of all opportunities presented to you. Remember, God can only do so much.

To find the right woman for you, you must be proactive.

Since your actions are belief based on the path God that has set before you, you have to make it happen. This means going out to meet women, dating and getting to know the woman. Remember this is not something that just happens.

3. Know that Virginity is not mystical or precious.

Many people have a notion that virginity is something to be prized, but it really isn’t. Sex is just an act. It’s just like breathing, or walking, or exercising. It is something we do.

Man was meant to be fruitful and multiply. Sex is one of the greatest gifts we have from God. It is pleasurable because he meant for us to have sex.

So to look at your virginity as something sacred is not helpful. Virginity is meant to be lost – the real challenge is finding the right person to lose it to!

Sex has a spiritual aspect of course, since it is an aspect of finding the woman who makes you feel so very alive, whole and loved. The spiritual aspect of sex is different from the act of sex, since it touches you within a deeper level.

Striving to achieve this type of intimacy helps you determine if the physical aspects are in tune also.

Kissing, touching and hugging are natural and nothing to fear. However, sharing your dreams and hopes while gazing deeply into her eyes and relating to her internal desires is where intimacy stems and thrives.

4. Women are real people with no need of a pedestal.

Because of the importance places on sex in your faith, it might be easy to artificially inflate a woman’s importance.

Perhaps you consider her a goddess, a delicate flower, something you should cherish and treat special.

Keep in mind that in many ways men and women are alike. We all come from the same place. You should never put a woman on a pedestal simply because you find her sexually attractive. This is not the same as having respect for her.

It is easy to love an ideal. But it is hard to love the reality. The woman who gets awnry when she’s hungry, the woman who nags you about taking out the garbage, the woman who wakes up in the morning with bad breath – that is the reality.

Being human, we share similar characteristics. We must learn to love the reality of women rather than idealizing them.

You will develop a clearer perspective when you realize that as humans women are just like you in many ways; this helps you to determine if they fit into your life plan.

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